Waking Up with Old Men

Call me old-fashioned but it is not often I wake up with a strange man in my room.  


(If you actually know me, you know the first sentence should be something more like this: 
I never wake up with any man in my room.
However, for the sake of being interesting and mysterious I'll leave it how it is.)

That was 100% true of my life...until today.

This morning was not like any other morning of my life.  I take full responsibility for the events that unfolded this morning.  Had I been out of bed before 10:00am like those people who contribute to society, none of this would not have happened.

At approximately 10:09am this morning I heard the distant sounds of keys unlocking a door.  Thinking my neighbor was returning, I go back to some much-needed beauty rest.  Before I can even close my eyes, I hear knocking as a door opens and I realize this is not my neighbor returning to his room, but someone entering my room.  At this point, I had no time to prepare for my surprise visitor; this person was about to see me in all my early-morning beauty.

Now, it doesn't often take me too much time to get ready.  Give me a few minutes to brush my hair, brush my teeth, and throw on something reasonably decent and I can be ready to go.  (My mother and I often disagree on the definition of "reasonably decent".  Sweatshirts from the 1970's?  I'd say that's not only decent but cool.  She would disagree.)

Today, however, my mother and I would both agree that what I had on was not reasonably decent.  In fact, it wasn't even reasonable.  Surprise Visitor had not given me any time to get ready and, quite frankly, I was not about to let this old French man see what I sleep in... so I had to resort to the timeless trick of pretending to still be asleep.  Luckily I had mastered this trick in the days of my youth.  I've been preparing for this moment for ages.  This was the big test.

As I heard him step into my room, I casually look up at him from my bed and roll over.

"Good," I hear him mumble in French, which I am sure was not in any way a comment on my appearance.  He steps into my bathroom, moves something, then leaves while announcing that he's leaving the door unlocked.


If you're waiting to hear why this strange man was in my room this morning, you are not waiting alone.  I still don't know.