Avoiding French Boys: Don't Move

(2 in a series of 3)

Think back to the last time a professor asked a question that you absolutely did not want to answer.  What did you do? 

Chances are, you probably sat as still as possible.  His eyes will catch even the slightest movement so it is necessary that you not move.  Eventually he sees some poor freshman in the back row reach up to scratch an itch and BAM! Itchy Freshman is stuck answering the question as the rest of you enjoy your freedom of movement again.

Well, the same thing can work to avoid boys in France.

2) Don’t move. 

Example: On our first weekend here, we met up with a group to go into town.  As we were introducing ourselves to one of the French natives, we went to shake hands with him.  The French boy politely reached out his hand but reminded us they don’t do that in France, instead they “faire la bise”.

Now, I’m all for making new friends.  Really.  I know it’s quite rude not to introduce myself.  However at this point I had just gotten out of bed about ten minutes beforehand, I hadn’t showered (It’s too hard!...see ‘Showers’ post for more info), and I was still sick.  The very last thing I wanted to be doing was kissing some stranger.

Anyhow, we shyly make a joke about how we don’t know how to do that yet.  He teaches the first girl in our group how they do it and she performs it perfectly.  That figures.  Secretly everyone always wants the first person to fail because then there are really low standards for everyone else.  Now she had invalidated the “Oh everyone messes it up first time” statement that would inevitably be coming as soon as I tried it. It looks easy…but what if I can’t do it?  I’m sure not going next.  There is a high probability I’ll mess it up somehow and I’m not ready for that.

Instead, I pull the stand-really-still-until-he-stops-looking-at-me-or-until-someone-else-messes-up method.  Literally, I froze as soon as they finished.  No more speaking.  No more coughing.  No more moving.  If I’m really, really still, he’ll forget I’m there and Itchy Freshman will get stuck going next.

Unfortunately, the rest of the girls pulled that same method.  Looking back, we probably should have communicated better so that one of us was pulling the stand-really-still method, one the turn-around-and-pretend-to-look-in-my-purse-for-something method, and one the I’m-not-making-eye-contact-with-you method.  Unfortunately, now we’re left with four girls standing frozen in the lobby, one very confused French boy, and nobody to be Itchy Freshman.  I wait for one of the other girls to take one for the team but today we all wanted to sit the bench.  After another minute or so of frozen silence, everyone involved pretends like it didn’t happen and continues on with the conversation.

Success.