I just wanted some rice...

All I wanted was some white rice.  I didn’t even want anything special.  I didn’t want anything else in it.  Just white rice.  As we walked around London’s Chinatown, Megan and I picked out a lovely place to eat so that I could get white rice.

After looking at the menu, I decided I should order something else with white rice so the waiter wouldn't think it was a strange order.  When he came to ask us what we wanted, I ordered some noodles and white rice.

“So you want them both?  Two orders?” he said as he judged me.

“Yes,” I answered him, a bit embarrassed that he would call me out on that and flattered that he thought I wouldn't be able to eat that much.  That's sweet of you.  Really.  But just bring me the rice anyway.  They are both sides.  I'm not even trying to have two full meals…and even if I wanted two meals, one is just plain rice! 

“OK.  And for you?” he asked Megan, still hesitant about my order.

As Megan ordered a dish of chicken, a side of rice, and an order of spring rolls, I waited for the waiter to judge the quantity of food she ordered.  Instead, the young man looked at me, took his pen, and crossed something off on his notepad.

“You don’t need the rice,” he said to me.

This, of course, was not the first time I’ve been faced with the stereotype that Americans (or even that I) eat too much while I’ve been abroad.  And while I can agree with that sometimes, I still don’t even think this was one of those cases.  It was rice and noodles!  Rice.  And.  Noodles.  Megan got to have chicken and a whole order of spring rolls and rice without even being questioned.  Why did she get to have all of that food and I could only have noodles? 

As I looked at him, slightly offended, I laughed and told him that he could bring the rice anyway.  Really, I’m the one paying for it.  I don’t know why you care.  Bring me some rice, buddy.

With a very serious face, the waiter answered me, “No.  You can have it at the end if you need it.” 

When my “meal” finally came, I pushed aside Megan’s three plates to make room for my plate of noodles.  Determined I would show him I should have been allowed to get the rice, I finished my meal and waited for him to ask me if I’d like my rice now.

Instead, he brought us the check.

In an act of defiance, I marched across the street and ordered two big pastries .

And now my pants are too small.  I hope you're happy now, waiter.